Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: When God Says No



 
We sat around the dining room table, our chairs pushed back, plates clean, napkins rumpled. As the candlewicks sunk low into soft, hot wax, the conversation turned serious, as it sometimes does when stomachs are full and wine glasses are half-empty.
 
One friend told us about the time she and her husband came close to moving to Chicago for a new job. All the signs had pointed in the right direction, she said. All the doors had opened…except the last one.

Another friend talked about a ghost writing opportunity he’d declined. The book had gone on to the New York Times bestseller list, sold a million copies. It had been the chance of a lifetime, and he’d been so close. But it hadn’t happened. 

Around the dinner table that night we talked about the times when God says no.

We clearly understand when he says no to bad plans -- sinful, half-baked, selfish, cockamamie plans. But the good, God-minded plans? We assume that if our intentions are pure and we’ve been “good,” that it will all work out. That if we are patient and faithful, he will eventually say yes.

Except that sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes God closes the door. And it doesn’t always make sense. Not while it’s happening. Sometimes not even a long while later.

In this week’s reading from 2 Samuel 7, God ultimately says yes to David…but only after he says no to something David deeply desires.

The story opens with David in his prime. Life is going well: he’s now king; settled into a sumptuous palace, well-rested and content. And suddenly it occurs to him that while he’s living the good life, God’s out there housed in a crummy, dilapidated tent. So David decides to rectify this unfair situation. He decides to build a temple, a new house, to make things right with God.

And God’s response is basically this (my paraphrase):

So you think you’re the one to build me a house to live in, do you? I haven’t lived in a house from the day I brought Israel out of Egypt. I’ve been moving from place to place with a tent as my dwelling. And you know what? That’s been just fine by me.” (2 Samuel 7:5-6)

Basically, God tells it straight: If I wanted a cedar house, I would have asked for a cedar house. I’ve got other plans for you. Sometimes, no matter how perfect our plan looks, no matter how well we think it’s aligned with God, it’s not what God wants. And so, like he did with David’s plans for building the temple, he says no. And then, like David, we have two choices. We can fight God, and push and pull and demand that the plan unfolds as we see fit. Or we can acquiesce. We can hand the plan back to God and say, I have faith.

We didn’t reach any radical conclusions that night around the dinner table as the candle wicks burned out and the smoke wisped toward the chandelier. Our talk eventually turned to other topics until finally we stood up, stretched and carried our plates to the kitchen sink. But I’m still thinking about that conversation a year later, and I have this to add:

It’s true, sometimes God says no. And we may not like it or agree. But we trust that even in his no, there is a yes, waiting to be revealed.

Has God ever said no to one of your plans? If so, were you able to see how a yes was eventually revealed? Or are you still waiting?


A little note: today is my friend Jenn LeBow's last Mercy Monday link-up - the prompt is "What Mercy Means to Me Now." Got a story? Stop by Jenn's place and link up!

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Hazel Moon –   – (October 22, 2012 at 12:18 AM)  

I am reminded of (more than once) when God said NO and we did it anyway and regretted it. It certainly does pay to listen and obey!

Robert R Moon –   – (October 22, 2012 at 12:29 AM)  

Stubborn is when a husband does not listen to his wife (or to God)

Glenda Childers –   – (October 22, 2012 at 4:39 AM)  

I love good food, good wine and wonderful deep conversation around the table with friends.

kendalprivette –   – (October 22, 2012 at 4:41 AM)  

there is a yes....love this.

JosephPote –   – (October 22, 2012 at 5:57 AM)  

One of the unanswered prayers that was hardest for me to understand at the time was for healing of my first marriage. I prayed for years that God would work through me to heal that relationship. And I just knew that was God's will. How could God not want a marriage relationship to reflect His glory, right?
God did, eventually, answer those prayers, but in a way so far removed from my expectations that it was difficult to recognize at first.
God did not heal that marriage relationship. However, He did bring abou the ending of that marriage so that I could have healing.

Ro elliott –   – (October 22, 2012 at 7:13 AM)  

I have learned in big and small ways...God’s ways are not our ways...But God is always good:)

Sharita Knobloch  – (October 22, 2012 at 7:41 AM)  

Let's see... my reaction to this post? "OH SNAP!"


God has absolutely told me no before-- in fact, it happened just last week on Thursday when we thought He said "Yes" to a new duty station... but then the door shut. (At least for the moment-- we are still waiting to see if it was a "No, you misunderstood me" or "Hold on... I'm still working out the details and need you to wait a little longer.")


As hard as the no's seem sometimes, I try remember that there are lots of GOOD things that might distract me from God's best... so I pray I can say yes to His best-- no more no less. (Wow, that got a little rhyme-y.)


Thanks for this post-- super encouraging!

Lisa notes...  – (October 22, 2012 at 8:01 AM)  

When God says no to us, sometimes it's to say yes to someone else. Perhaps? Just another thought. None of us can know the deepest, truest answers... A battle to just believe and trust anyway.

Laurie Collett –   – (October 22, 2012 at 9:16 AM)  

We recently went through a long process in which God opened door after door, only to close the last one leading to the opportunity we had dreamed of. But Praise God that His ways are not our ways, and that He works all things together for our good and His glory. Thanks for the great post & for hosting, & God bless!
Laurie,



http://savedbygracebiblestudy.blogspot.com/

Martha Orlando –   – (October 22, 2012 at 9:24 AM)  

I've learned that when God says, "no", there is no other way than to accept His answer in faith and trust in His timing. The Lord will work out everything for good.
Beautiful post!

Michelle Eichner  – (October 22, 2012 at 10:25 AM)  

Michelle, I was struck by this same concept a few weeks ago when reading through Acts. Paul wanted to go certain places, and twice the Spirit said, "No." Interesting timing - thanks for sharing!
Michelle

Michelle DeRusha  – (October 22, 2012 at 10:51 AM)  

Yes, you are right, Michelle -- I'd forgotten about that! Very good addition to the conversation!

Deidra  – (October 22, 2012 at 11:45 AM)  

Been there. Done that. Not advised.

Deidra  – (October 22, 2012 at 11:46 AM)  

Sometimes, the most difficult thing is believing God isn't wrong. I tend to think I know what I'm doing, and that my way will yield the best results. Alas. Not true. SO not true.

Alecia –   – (October 22, 2012 at 11:53 AM)  

I've had all of those 'what-if's' running through my head recently with a trial we have been going through. And what I realized is, that if they all came true, as hard as it would be, God was still good and in control. I think I just needed to get to that place where I could say that:) and I did!

Nancy Franson  – (October 22, 2012 at 3:26 PM)  

Sometimes I think God's says no so I'll look for contentment in him rather than in the thing I wanted. He is enough--this is what I need to learn.

Shelly Miller  – (October 22, 2012 at 3:48 PM)  

Ya know, in my case the yes's haven't been what I thought they would be. And that has been a bigger struggle for me than the no's. If I get a no then I trust that He knows better.

Megan Willome  – (October 22, 2012 at 4:08 PM)  

I'm getting ready to write a big profile on someone, and in interview after interview she says, "Thank God for unanswered prayer."

Kris Camealy  – (October 22, 2012 at 7:35 PM)  

Thanks for this, Michelle. It resonates deeply for me this season of "no". This post was a gift to my spirit. Thank you.

Michelle DeRusha  – (October 23, 2012 at 9:46 AM)  

That's an interesting perspective, Megan. I don't think I've ever actually thanked God for an UNanswered prayer...but I can see, sometimes in hindsight, where that could be a very good idea.

Michelle DeRusha  – (October 23, 2012 at 9:47 AM)  

Yup, there's that, too -- good point, Shelly.

Michelle DeRusha  – (October 23, 2012 at 9:48 AM)  

Oh yeah, I totally make the mistake of thinking I'm the boss of God all the time. So humbling!

Michelle DeRusha  – (October 23, 2012 at 9:48 AM)  

I think that's true, too. But the key is to accept the no SO you can find contentment in Him. Usually what I do is push and battle and pull -- and there's not contentment in that.

Michelle DeRusha  – (October 23, 2012 at 9:49 AM)  

It is a battle, Lisa - that's a really good and accurate description.

Michelle DeRusha  – (October 23, 2012 at 9:50 AM)  

Oh my goodness, yes, I've done that, too, Hazel. Some of the most painful times in my life were the result of intentionally going against God's will.

Donna –   – (October 23, 2012 at 2:15 PM)  

Even in Gods NO, there is a YES waiting to be revealed...
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the reminder...
exactly the words I needed to hear today.
Thank you!

Laura Boggess  – (October 23, 2012 at 7:08 PM)  

Sometimes it feels like God says "no" to me way more than "yes". I wonder what that should tell me?

M. Joshua Cauller  – (October 24, 2012 at 11:02 AM)  

Something resonates with me and that fact that David wasn't allowed to build the Temple. Fascinating. Good point. Thanks.

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