She Freaks

I’m off to the She Speaks conference on Friday. And I’ve got to tell you, I’ve secretly been calling it “She Freaks” for about two months now.

Because I. am. freaking. out.

For starters, I’m a bit of a wallflower when it comes to these events. I’m great with one or two people, or even a small dinner party, but put me in a room bustling with 650 women, and I shrink like a violet in the August sun. When I went to Relevant last October (it's now called Allume), I cried twice in a corner of the lobby. I couldn’t retreat to my hotel room to cry because I was sharing it with two lovely ladies, and I didn’t want them to witness me come completely unhinged. So I found a bench behind a rack of brochures advertising sightseeing trips to the Amish country and Hershey’s chocolate factory, dialed my husband and wept. Brad talked me out from behind the brochure rack. Twice.

So. You can see why I am just a little anxious about She Speaks. To further ramp up the anxiety, I will be pitching two book proposals (the memoir, and a new non-fiction project) to three editors at three different publishing houses. All this week – literally morning, noon and yes, 3 a.m. – I’ve been “practicing” (read: obsessing over) my pitch. I’ll have about 15 minutes with each editor to sell her on my project(s). No pressure though.

Before she asked me for my top three editor picks, Sheila, with Proverbs 31 Ministries, asked that we pause for a moment of prayer over the phone. Of course, I could hardly concentrate on her prayer because:

1. I was so freaked out that I was praying with a stranger over the telephone (a first for me). 

2. I was horrified that up until that point I’d entirely forgotten to pray about the conference and the editor appointment selection process.

What kind of Christian writer going to a Christian conference forgets to pray about meeting with editors at Christian publishing houses?

Yeah, me. That’s who.

So in light of all this, may I ask a favor? If you are so willing, would you please pray for me while I am at the She Speaks conference Friday and Saturday? I’ll pray, too (because I am really quite skilled at the desperation prayer), but it would give me comfort and confidence to know that together, you and God have got my back.

Thank you. Truly. Because of you, I've now downgraded my status to She Sort-of Freaks.

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