Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: Betrayal

As a kid I had a love-hate attitude toward Palm Sunday.

What I loved were the palms themselves, the perfect instrument for tickling my sister’s nose, or, depending on my mood, jabbing her in the neck. I loved, too, that we’d head over to Nana and Papa’s house after Mass, where we’d eat chocolate-frosted donuts from Donut Dip and watch my grandfather weave the supple yellow-green fronds into crosses.

The part of Palm Sunday I hated was the Mass itself, because we read the dreaded Passion, the interminable story of Jesus' crucifixion. It was long and boring, and we stood for the entire reading, shifting from foot to foot and leaning heavily on the pew.

I was always shocked to witness my mom repeat the words, “Crucify him. Crucify him. Give us Barabbus instead,” with the rest of the congregation. “How could she?” I’d think, horrified by what I perceived as my mother’s betrayal of Jesus. I refused to speak my required part, clamping my lips tight when we got to the courtroom scene, convinced that I was the only honorable Catholic in the bunch.

Part of me hasn’t entirely abandoned that self-righteousness, even thirty years later. When I read the scene in which Jesus rides in to Jerusalem on the donkey, the bystanders laying palm branches at his feet and singing his praises in joyful expectation, I’m unnerved by the disparity between this triumphant entrance and the violence and abuse that quickly follows.

“How could they dismiss him so easily?” I wonder. “How could they turn against him so quickly?”

I’d like to think I wouldn’t have reacted the same way. I’d like to think, just as I refused to condemn Jesus when we performed the Passion in Mass as a kid, that I would have been one of his few, loyal followers until the bitter end.

But I’m kidding myself.

Sometimes God doesn’t act or respond the way I want him to, or the way I expect him to. Sometimes I wonder why he’s not changing a particular situation in my life, or not answering a specific prayer. Sometimes I get angry, frustrated or disappointed with God. My trust in him falters; my faith wavers. I turn my back against him.

Even today, two thousand years later, even when I know how the story ends, I’m still capable of betraying Jesus. I’m still capable of turning from praise to protest. My crucifying may be metaphorical, my abandonment may occur in my heart, but that doesn’t make it any less real.





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Laura  – (April 2, 2012 at 12:08 AM)  

So true! I want so much to be pleasing to Him but just know it's impossible apart from His strength and ability. I know what I am capable of...  and I want to always be aware of my desperation for Jesus, clinging to His grace so I can finish this life strong.

Thanks for this post Michelle.  :)

Shanda Oakley  – (April 2, 2012 at 1:32 AM)  

I always thought I was stronger and more loyal. Until lately when things have not gone as I had planned and prayed all my life (told in my post that I will like tomorrow am) It makes me kind of understand the fickle reactions of people. It also makes me ashamed.

Dianna Kennedy  – (April 2, 2012 at 2:13 AM)  

That's such a powerful image, of you and your mother, during the reading of the Passion. It is SO PAINFUL to have to repeat those words - it makes you so very aware of your sinful nature, and how much God has done and will continue to do for us.
It's breathtaking, literally. I never make it through without crying. 

Lyli@3dLessons4LIfe  – (April 2, 2012 at 5:36 AM)  

 Ouch.   This post is convicting.   Needed it.  Thank you

Clint Baker –   – (April 2, 2012 at 5:51 AM)  

 I hope you don't mind a brother in Christ stopping in and reading? I have a little blog that I share Jesus and Gardening on, I would like to invite each of you:
http://theredeemedgardener.blogspot.com/2012/04/challenge-from-neglection.html

JosephPote –   – (April 2, 2012 at 5:56 AM)  

That's a place we have to keep coming back to, isn't it Michelle?  Realizing that He died for MY sins...not for some abstract cause, but for me, personally...a traitor whom He chose to redeem.

Kimberly Sullivan  – (April 2, 2012 at 6:34 AM)  

If Peter could deny Him, I certainly could have!  It's a real eye opener when we discover that many of the same people shouting "Hosanna!" were shouting "Crucify Him!" less than a week later...

JoAnne Potter  – (April 2, 2012 at 7:37 AM)  

Yes, ma'am. That is the beauty of an inescapable liturgy, one we can't revise to reflect only praise.   We did, we do, shout "Crucify" with every intentional sin.  Guilty.  Yes, guilty.  But Easter morning still comes.

Jen Ferguson –   – (April 2, 2012 at 7:39 AM)  

My guest poster for SDG talks about the same thing tonight and I even brought it up in Sunday school class, too -- this quick shift from praise to betrayal can happen any ordinary day in my life.  But how I wish it wasn't so...

Emily Wierenga –   – (April 2, 2012 at 8:26 AM)  

for the first time in my life, i understood why they wanted Barabbas released, yesterday. it shocked me, to realize i probably would have been shouting with them.

Michelle DeRusha  – (April 2, 2012 at 8:28 AM)  

I welcome all brothers -- I have a few regularly visit here! Welcome!

Amanda –   – (April 2, 2012 at 8:32 AM)  

good post Michelle!  Our pastor reminded us this week how fickle crowds can be.  Like with athletes - fans cheer them on one moment and boo the next.  

I'm smiling thinking about your clinched teeth as a child when your mother said those dreaded words, and how you couldn't imagine them.  I suppose that's why we are supposed to have faith like children, so pure and naive. 

Have a great holy week!

Amanda

Amanda –   – (April 2, 2012 at 8:32 AM)  

Amanda Hill, that is, from www.hillpen.com (see comment above)

AliciaLourens –   – (April 2, 2012 at 8:33 AM)  

It hurts to realize that yes, we too would be shouting for him to die. If we are all honest, we would all be doing. This is my favorite/least favorite week. Humbling, tormenting, convicting and freeing all at once.

Lisa notes  – (April 2, 2012 at 8:52 AM)  

I wonder how many betrayals I make a week...a day...an hour. I shudder to think. 

Jean Wise  – (April 2, 2012 at 9:31 AM)  

I think you have touched a raw place in all of our hearts here today, Michelle.  I know myself well enough that I would have gone with the crowd in yelling Crucify Him.  Not a pretty self picture but I am not daring enough to take that stand.  But I do know Him better now and love Him more, so maybe....

Connie@raise your eyes  – (April 2, 2012 at 9:57 AM)  

With tears, I sing "How Deep The Father 's Love for us." "...ashamed I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers..."

Kelli Parker Becton  – (April 2, 2012 at 11:07 AM)  

Michelle, my story this week is about a childhood experience as well - hope you enjoy it as I did your story - I can relate! ;) 

Nancy Franson  – (April 2, 2012 at 12:13 PM)  

Your reaction to your mother's reading of the passage was fascinating, as was your response of clamping your own mouth shut. I continue to be amazed at how much of Scripture I used to think applied only to other people,  only to find myself years later smack-dab in the middle of the story.

Heretic Husband  – (April 2, 2012 at 1:06 PM)  

So I'm not the only one who wouldn't say those parts!  I had the same reaction when I was a kid.

Kelly  – (April 2, 2012 at 1:14 PM)  

Yesterday, the pastor of the church I went to said something similar.  He said we turn on Jesus every time we expect one thing from him and he does something else.  Whenever Jesus doesn't fit into our perceived idea of what he should do or what he should be like, we are the ones who say Hosanna one minute and Crucify Him the next.

Deidra  – (April 2, 2012 at 1:19 PM)  

The idea of reading aloud and together the story of the passion intrigues me. How that must feel, to be part of the crowd, speaking those words of betrayal? I know my own heart shouts it sometimes, and whispers it at other times. All alone and yet, so much a part of the crowd. 

No, I am not exempt.

Deanna –   – (April 2, 2012 at 2:31 PM)  

Wow, your post made me think even more so in to what I was inspired to write about this morning, the Triumphal Entry... and how Jesus wept.
I too, hope that I would have remained loyal to the very end if I were at time and place in history.

I'm glad to connect with Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday.
Blessings & Happy Easter,
Deanna 

soulstops –   – (April 2, 2012 at 5:20 PM)  

Very insightful and honest, Michelle... I know I can sometimes betray Him in that way and when He forgives me, I am filled with greater gratitude and love for Him. Happy Easter  to you and yours :)

Urailak @Living for God  – (April 3, 2012 at 5:09 AM)  

How true. We're still capable of turning from praise to protest. It just shows more how desperately we need God's grace!

Kathryn Ross –   – (April 3, 2012 at 8:58 AM)  

Hi Michelle!  Betrayal - knowing the pain of that up close and personal this week and yet also knowing what it is to be released from a dark tomb.  Thanking the Lord for His mercies and paving the way to His resurrection life and purposes in a world full of betrayal.
Joy!
Kathy

Laurie Collett –   – (April 3, 2012 at 9:26 AM)  

Thank you for the honest and thought-provoking post. Praise God that He loves us anyway, even when we turn away, abandon, deny or even betray Him. We are wretched sinners unworthy of His grace, nut He has infinite love and mercy.
Love in Him,
Laurie Collett


http://savedbygracebiblestudy.blogspot.com/
 

Sandra Heska King  – (April 3, 2012 at 8:13 PM)  

I'm so capable of that betrayal, too. And still He spills His love.

mamaabby –   – (April 3, 2012 at 8:46 PM)  

I am so with you about just not being at all sure that I would have stayed strong and by Him then...I have been reading a whole series on the life of Jesus {historical non-fiction} during Lent & my preggo sickness;} It has been eye-opening and humbling.  The powers that be of the day created such a culture of fear around the person of Jesus--especially in Jerusalem.  The first believers faced persecution and death from the start & it was beyond easy to join the throng of the safe and echo the will of the rulers & leaders...so, there is {hopefully} only humility here--I think, surely I would have been one of the faithful, forever-changed, unafraid, but??? so thankful for His Grace and the promise over and over 'do not fear' in my ever-present weakness as I seek to live for Him in these days...Happy Easter, dear friend!!!!

Laura Boggess  – (April 4, 2012 at 7:10 AM)  

this year, for the first time, we had individual blades of palms instead of the whole leafy thing. The children could not resist using them as swords (ok, I admit it. I "stabbed" my friend sitting right in front of me. He said, "What are you doing?" "I can't help it!" I replied.) But, yeah, I'm with you on this one, Michelle. The quick turn of events never ceases to make my head spin. But isn't that like God? To so perfectly encapsulate the way life works--distill it down this way? My betrayals don't always come all at once. More like a lifetime of little ones--the way my belly keeps expanding when so many go hungry, the way I forget to pray sometimes, the way...on and on. You are making me think again, friend...

Kim  – (April 4, 2012 at 11:24 AM)  

I see the value in joining the chorus, "Crucify him!" It's a physical reminder, that *I* did it too. What's amazing me about God lately is how he can take the questioning and the wavering and the outright betrayal and, unfailingly, return in with love and forgiveness and .... grace.

path of treasure  – (April 4, 2012 at 5:39 PM)  

Your post makes me wonder what my own kids might be thinking, as  palm leaves were handed out to all  in church on Sunday (but the entire passion story was not read aloud). My youngest was trying to tickle me with his palm. :)
I don't know what they'll remember or how they'll process some of these things, but I do know not one of us is exempt, like you say, we're just kidding ourselves to think we'd be any different. But perhaps that part of the story is something we all have to come to realize on our own-- it can't be taught?
Thanks for making me think. :)

Hazel Moon –   – (April 5, 2012 at 3:24 PM)  

Our church provided short palm leaves held together with one of the leaves.  Also a potted palm tree was near the alter.  It was a visual reminder of Palm Sunday.  Our minister reminded us that the words Hosannah were followed a week later by Crucify Him.  And a few days later His disciples could shout,  HE is RISEN.  May we dwell on his resurrection and understand that He lives today within the hearts of those who will accept Him as their Lord and Savior.

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