One Word {Better Late than Never}

I love resolutions. I love the promise of a fresh start, the chance at a new beginning. I typically make eight resolutions at the start of each new year and divide my goals into four categories, two resolutions for each category: physical fitness/health; family life/relationships; spirituality; and writing. You're wondering if I actually keep any of my resolutions, aren't you? The fact is, I manage to keep most of them...or at least half of them every year. I'm Triple Type A, what can I say?

This year, though, I didn't make a single resolution. I simply wasn’t in the mood. It’s hard to embrace the new year when you know right from the get-go that it’s going to be a difficult one. This New Year's Eve and Day were the hardest I've ever faced, knowing that 2012 will not be easy.

I’d rather not know what’s ahead. Ignorance is bliss, as the saying goes. Just four weeks ago my biggest concern was whether to purchase Bop-It or Bop-It Xtreme as a Christmas gift for Rowan. Then we got the news of my father-in-law’s illness, and our world turned upside down. Suddenly everything that caused me angst, as well as everything that brought me joy, vanished under the weight of grief.

The future is always unknown, right? But that's exactly what I forget when life is rolling along just fine.

The day before we learned of Jon's illness, I thought I had everything figured out and all under control. I was wrong, of course...but I would have been wrong regardless of the bad news that came our way.

We never know what the future holds - not next year, next month, tomorrow or the next hour. It can all change in the span of a single breath. The future is not mine to know; it is determined by a power much greater than I.

In light of that realization, and the fact that what I really want to change can't be changed by me, I resolve this year to surrender. I guess you could say that's my one word for 2012: surrender.

Don't get me wrong. To surrender doesn't mean I give up, throw in the towel, bury my head in the sand. It simply means that I yield. I relinquish. I step back.

 I don’t embrace surrender lightly or willingly – it goes against my nature. Yet I can’t think of anything I need to do more right now.

I surrender to God's will on this long and circuitous publishing journey. I put my book, this blog and my words in his hands and yield to his will.

I surrender to God’s will in the everyday – in both the frustrating, irritating moments and the ones that brim with joy and peace. They are all his, each and every one.

And most of all I surrender this arduous journey through illness and suffering to God’s will. I put my hope, fears and prayers in God's hands and yield to him.

Ultimately, I know that God holds my father-in-law Jon and all of us in the palm of his hand.  And with that, I surrender. 

"Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, 'This is the way you should go.'" (Isaiah 30: 20-21, NLT).

Do you have a "one word" to guide you through 2012?

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