Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: For the Times You are Afraid...and Obey Anyway


The day I knew I would have to say goodbye to my mother-in-law was one of the hardest, most terrifying moments I’ve ever faced. You see, until then, I’d never been around a dying person before. I didn’t know what a dying person looked like. Or how I should act or what I should say. I’d never walked into a “deathbed” scene; I’d never had to say goodbye to someone I loved, knowing I would never see that person again. And I’d never watched my children do the same.
As we drove from Nebraska to Minnesota that Labor Day Weekend, I was gripped by a paralyzing fear, and I scrambled for an excuse that would release me from the dreaded event that lay ahead. Just a mile from his parents’ house, I turned to Brad and blurted, “I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. I’m afraid.”
I thought of that moment yesterday morning in church as I listened to the reading from Exodus, about the preparations the Israelites made before they fled Egypt. As I heard God’s solemn words to them, I understood the fear and dread they must have experienced as they heeded his dire instructions:
“Wear your traveling clothes as you eat this meal, as though prepared for a long journey. Wear your sandals, and carry your walking sticks in your hands. Eat the food quickly, for this is the Lord’s Passover. On that night I will pass through the land of Egypt and kill all the firstborn sons and firstborn male animals in the land of Egypt.” (Exodus 12:11-12).
Can you imagine the terror the Israelites must have felt? Can you imagine sitting with the knowledge that hundreds of young, first-born children would soon die? Can you imagine the dread? The apprehension?
The Israelites were faithful and obedient, sure, but I suspect they were also deeply afraid.
And the truth is, I think that’s okay.
Most of us assume that fear automatically signals distrust; but I think there are also times in life in which fear can and does go hand-in-hand with obedience. Let’s face it: life offers a lot of experiences we don’t particularly like and plenty of moments we’d prefer to skip.
God gets this. He knows us. He knows when we are weak. He knows when we are afraid. He knows that sometimes we have to force ourselves to obey him even when we’d rather run the other way. 
God knows that on some days, dread-filled, fearful, tentative obedience is just about all we can muster, and he accepts it for what it is: not a sign of distrust, but rather, a testament of our faith.
Have you ever been deeply afraid of something, yet still went ahead and did it out of sense of obedience or respect?

With Jen's Soli Deo Gloria:


Welcome to the "Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday" community, a place where we share what we are hearing from God and his Word. 
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Hazel Moon –   – (January 30, 2012 1:45 AM)  

"Fear Not for I am with you," God tells us.  That is for our walk with him, and those things he asks us to do.  Facing death of a loved one is sad, for we will miss them here.  If they are born again, we shall see them again in heaven.  As death takes the Christian, they are ushered into the presence of Jesus and they meet him face to face.  Can we be sad over that?  Rather we are feeling sorry for ourselves that we will not have them here with us in this life.  I have only been with one person as they passed on, and they were a sinner until I spoke to them in their coma and told them to say YES to Jesus.  A smile came on the lips and I knew she was going to meet Him.  We could never ask our loved ones to return for they would NOT want to come back after seeing the Lord.  Bless you my dear and comfort one another.

rmoon2004 –   – (January 30, 2012 2:29 AM)  

Let the SON shine in!  He will quickly reveal any spider webs or dust that needs removal :-)

Kendal  – (January 30, 2012 5:04 AM)  

i love that you have given us so many snapshots of your journey with this grief. thank you so much for sharing. and yeah. when i was in recovery for anorexia, fear was a constant companion.

Courtney Buxton  – (January 30, 2012 5:41 AM)  

Michelle - I spent some time at a retreat this weekend, thinking about how God's love drives away fear, or "damages" fear. I like how that plays into what you are saying here, and I agree. Maybe God uses fear sometimes to help us obey; to get our attention and then, knowing he loves us so much, we can walk through the fear and obey anyway. His steadfast love weakens our fear just enough to make it a teaching tool for obedience - if we can obey through fear, surely we can obey through peace. I never thought about the Israelites' story in that regard, either.  Great post.

JosephPote –   – (January 30, 2012 6:11 AM)  

I think that true courage and true faith are displayed in those moments when we are very afraid, yet choose to act based on faith rather than based on our fear.
 
God told Joshua, "Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9).  If there were not substantial cause for fear, there would be no need for courage.
 
Yes, I have faced those moments, many times.  Sharing them would take more room than alotted in a comment section, though...
 
Thank you, Michelle, for the great message!
 
BTW, your pastor and mine seem to be paralleling each other in studies of Exodus...one of my favorite books of the Bible.

Patsy Paterno  – (January 30, 2012 6:15 AM)  

The only time I can remember that I was afraid but obeyed anyway was when God wanted me to serve in the QC Jail, a local men's prison. But I've learned that with obedience comes blessing! 

JoAnne Potter –   – (January 30, 2012 7:26 AM)  

Oh, yes, ma'am.  An integral part of my conversion  was God's command to publicly confess a grievous secret sin.  It was horrible, but a perfect test of my confession of faith.  In the end, He worked what looked like impossible circumstances out for good.  Of course.  That's what He does.   In the process, He caused me to build an altar in a place to which I can constantly return. 

Lisa notes  – (January 30, 2012 7:27 AM)  

I love seeing your heart, Michelle. Your honesty at our struggle to face the dying should reach into each of us.

SO often I am afraid when I obey. If I waited until fear disappeared, I'd rarely obey. ;-) I'm thankful that God honors obedience as our sacrifice of faith.

A beautiful post, friend, as always.

kd sullivan  – (January 30, 2012 7:52 AM)  

This is so powerful, because not only can we do things out of respect for others, but out of respect for God....and real respect for God will bring a fear that will overcome any earthly fear. 

Connie@raise your eyes  – (January 30, 2012 7:54 AM)  

To experience deep fear, yet to choose to breathe in obedience...takes a supreme act of The Holy Spirit. Yes, the longer I live, the more I've felt that Breath helping me with the next step.

But something amazing happens Michelle...you'll begin to feel Him pointing your face toward situations which you formerly feared, in order to help someone. Suddenly, you realize that your fear has turned to courage beyond yourself.

Shanda Oakley –   – (January 30, 2012 7:59 AM)  

I'm praying for you today, Michelle. I remember my first experience with a death close to me. After a while, death becomes a part of life...but NEVER for a loved one.  I pray God's grace will get you through this in such a mighty way that you will be a rock that the rest of your family leans on as well.  
Remembering you today and this week.  Shanda

Jen Ferguson –   – (January 30, 2012 8:42 AM)  

Oh, friend.  I hear you on the deathbed thing.  I never thought the hardest goodbye I could have (other than my nuclear family) would come so soon.  I'm praying for your family, and especially Brad's dad.

I agree that fear doesn't equal mistrust.  Just like questioning God doesn't mean you don't have enough faith.

And I linked up, didn't get the error message, but my pic is not there.  I think there just might be a delay this time!

WendyPaineMiller –   – (January 30, 2012 8:53 AM)  

Yep, several key times in my life I've done this. Actually, numerous moments are coming to mind. I guess I just like to take risks this way to prove to myself I can push past fear. And yes, deathbed scenes can be excruciating.
~ Wendy

joan taylor –   – (January 30, 2012 8:54 AM)  

And in our weakness we are made strong through Him.  Honestly, during my desert experience there were countless times when I experienced fear, but I pressed forward obediently.  I knew that God was calling me to be demonstrate my faithful obedience to Him.  It was all apart of my calling.  Is was by no means easy.  However, the rewards for my obedience have been great.  I am praying for you and your family, Michelle.

Leslie  – (January 30, 2012 9:24 AM)  

"God knows that on some days, dread-filled, fearful, tentative obedience is just about all we can muster, and he accepts it for what it is: not a sign of distrust, but rather, a testament of our faith."

such good words, Michelle.

Bobbi –   – (January 30, 2012 9:32 AM)  

As always, your post was fabulous!  Thanks for the honesty and challenges.  Thanks also for hosting...this meme helps me pay attention on Sundays!

Jean Wise  – (January 30, 2012 12:33 PM)  

You expressed this so well.  My heart and prayers are with you, Jon, Brad and the kids.  
You said it so well: God gets it!  WE can face anything when we remember that. 

Krbrid  – (January 30, 2012 1:15 PM)  

Oh my, Yes!  Many times I have been afraid when I've been called to do something, but I have learned to grab that Righteous Right Hand of His and go forth and blessings have always abound on the other side!  I have left many a comfort zone trembling and shouting praise on the other side:)

Shaunie Friday  – (January 30, 2012 1:57 PM)  

I just saw your faith grow, right before my very eyes Michelle! You have related this experience and the very understandable fear you faced so beautifully. Thank you for setting such a faithful example!

Theresa  – (January 30, 2012 2:48 PM)  

Oh yes, I hear you. This message rings true. I do have a story of my grandfather in-law on his deathbed and the spirit prompting me to go to him BY MYSELF, not just the arranged ten-minute family visit before we said our dutiful good-byes. I went, I spoke truth, I sobbed, we conversed -- broken, but there was dialogue. It was the last day he was able to utter a word and three days before his death. It may have been the hardest thing I ever did, and maybe the most rewarding. 

Shelly Miller  – (January 30, 2012 3:15 PM)  

I like your thoughts about fear being a part of obedience. And yes, I can think of many times that I was afraid but knew I needed to trust God. The day I stood before thousands to introduce Kay Warren, the day I said yes to leading women's ministries for a church of 5000, the day I had my first and second child . .. you get the picture! Praying for you Michelle.

Urailak @Living for God  – (January 30, 2012 3:20 PM)  

Yes. God understands us and our fear.  We demonstrate faith and courage when we choose to trust and obey, in spite of our fear.

soulstops –   – (January 30, 2012 4:05 PM)  

Yes...obeying despite fear...this is what God has been talking to me about for a while and in greater detail today and then lo and behold, I read your post ...God seems to be making sure I get the message : )  This is my 2nd time linking up (I'm #47)...sorry, I didn't know to let you know the first time ... Praying that God continues to give you grace to obey despite your fear... Thanks Michelle, for being used by God today :)

Lori_MyEvidentFaith  – (January 30, 2012 4:41 PM)  

Beautifully put, Michelle, thank you for this encouragement. Much needed lately. 

Deanna –   – (January 30, 2012 5:02 PM)  

I am so thankful and excited to link up here for the first time! Thank you for this opportunity and I look forward to the blessings when I come back with the time to read through yours and the others shared posts.

Blessings & Love!

Angel –   – (January 30, 2012 6:01 PM)  

I can definitely think of a few times that I was so afraid of what God was asking me to do. It often feels like His courage girds me up for obedience. The great thing about that is then He gets the glory, not me. 

Harriett –   – (January 30, 2012 6:58 PM)  

I was afraid every year before I met my students. It would take me a week before I didn't think I would throw up.... :)

Every morning I prayed that the fear would go away. Every time it did -- God was always faithful.  I faced that fear every year for thirty three years ....

:)

Hugs.

Linda Chontos –   – (January 30, 2012 8:04 PM)  

I don't think there would be so much about fear in scripture if it wasn't something the Father knew we would struggle with. Think how it blesses His heart when we obey in spite of real fear. It gives Him the opportunity to slip His arms around us and carry us through.
You always bless and teach me new things Michelle.

Sara  – (January 30, 2012 8:16 PM)  

I think sometimes that God wants us to jump without a net--free fall for a bit so that he can catch us and so that we can learn we are able to do so much more than we sometimes believe.

bradleyjmoore –   – (January 31, 2012 5:21 AM)  

Ah yes, the dread, the terror, the downward spiral of fear. In my experience, it is just as you say. As long as the fear does not paralyze, as long as we keep moving, watching ourselves from inside our heads taking the next step, and the next, we somehow get through and realize fear is something that can be overcome. Or at least gotten through. I like the saying, "The only way out is through..." Sometimes that is God's testament to our lives.

TJ @ Any Given moment –   – (January 31, 2012 12:18 PM)  

yes, and I've learned so much about God and myself through doing it, but OOOH BOY is it scary to peer over that cliff.

Pipaclan –   – (January 31, 2012 1:01 PM)  

but trust can overcome fear....
I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can,
Thanks for the hop.

denisejeanine –   – (January 31, 2012 1:17 PM)  

"
Most of us assume that fear automatically signals distrust; but I think there are also times in life in which fear can and does go hand-in-hand with obedience."

I love this! Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. So often we forget that though. Awesome post.

Sylvia R  – (January 31, 2012 1:45 PM)  

I see all kinds of fear here in the comments, so I might as well add my own that I had to face in obedience to God: to come forward with one other witness to expose wrong-doing and work toward its correction. 

It was the scariest thing I ever had to do -- I guess because I was afraid it would not be well received, and would bring me loss of many things. (And it wasn't! And it did!) I literally trembled nearly all day, pleading with God that I couldn't do it (didn't want to do it!) 

But we enlisted prayer from some good-friend prayer warriors, and I surrendered to obedience and just asked God to do through me what I could not do myself -- and though the "ending" wasn't "happy," the peace and calm God gave me as He carried me through the whole ordeal was astounding. 

Exercise of faith. Maybe *that* always involves overcoming fear, or acting somehow, by God's power, even despite it.

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 10:53 PM)  

Sylvia, you are brave indeed! And I totally get your comment about it not being a happy ending, but yet feeling the peace and calm through the ordeal. That's exactly how I felt when I faced my fear of death and having to say goodbye to my mother-in-law.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing this week!

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 10:53 PM)  

Thanks, DeniseJeanine (my sister's name is Jeanine - spelled the same way -- so I automatically love you!).

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 10:54 PM)  

Yup, it sure is. Thank God that God has our back, eh sister?!

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 10:55 PM)  

Oh my gosh, the year I did student teaching, I thought I was going to die of terror. That was also the year I decided I was not cut out for teaching! ;)

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 10:56 PM)  

So glad to have you here, Deanna - welcome to the Hear It, Use It community!

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 10:57 PM)  

Wow, seriously Shelly - those are some big moments. I would have been quaking in my shoes!

And thank you, thank you for the prayers, dear friend. They are much appreciated.

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 10:57 PM)  

Wow Theresa, thank you for sharing that incredibly moving experience. It's true, isn't it -- sometimes difficult and rewarding really do go hand-in-hand.

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 10:58 PM)  

Awwwww, thank you Shaunie -- you are the sweetest! I just appreciate so much how encouraging you are!

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 10:59 PM)  

I love the image you describe here: leaving the comfort zone trembling and exiting on the other side shouting praise - that is very cool.

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:00 PM)  

Jean, thank you, thank you so much, dearest friend. I can feel your prayers and love reaching us from afar.

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:00 PM)  

I'm so glad, Bobbi - it certainly helps me pay attention on Sundays, too!

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:00 PM)  

Thanks for stopping by here, Wendy girl!

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:01 PM)  

Thank you so very much, Shanda. Your prayers and love mean so much to me.

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:02 PM)  

So much truth in this, Lisa: "if I waited for fear to disappear, I'd rarely obey." That's exactly right.

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:03 PM)  

Oh wow, what a story of faith amidst fear, JoAnne - thank you for sharing it here.

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:03 PM)  

I can see why you were afraid, Patsy - I think I would have been, too. Kudos to you for following through and listening to what God wanted from you!

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:04 PM)  

I love that verse from Joshua, Joe -- I distinctly recall underlining it in my Bible last time I read it.

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:05 PM)  

I appreciate your observations here, Courtney -- that maybe God uses fear to help us obey, to get our attention. Thanks for offering a nuance I hadn't considered before!

Michelle DeRusha  – (January 31, 2012 11:06 PM)  

I can only imagine the fear you faced in that journey, Kendal. I am thanking God that you recovered and survived...and now are using that experience to bless that sweet girl of yours!

Shawn Smucker  – (February 1, 2012 8:26 AM)  

I am scared right now. Thank you for this post.

Erica Frisk –   – (February 2, 2012 4:07 AM)  

This is my first time visiting your blog and it's a definite encouragement.  I was intrigued by the button I found on another blog and had to check it out.  My pastor has said many times during his sermons, "I always try to make sure that my Sunday morning sermons have meaning on Monday morning."  
friskpartyoffive.blogspot.com

Ashley Sisk  – (February 2, 2012 9:49 AM)  

This message keeps finding its way into my heart. I think God is definitely trying to tell me something.

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