The Pre-Guest Prettify
We are having guests for Thanksgiving this year. My parents are coming to Nebraska, and we’ve also invited some good friends and their two boys to join us for dinner.
As I prepare for the holiday, I review the state of my house with a critical eye. Am I the only one who does this? Am I the only one who embarks on major house projects in anticipation of guests? I’ve been known to repaint entire rooms a day or two before the arrival of houseguests. One time I even dashed over to Pier One and purchased a new leopard-print chair just 45 minutes before dinner guests arrived.
Last night when I got out of the shower and toweled off, I caught myself thinking, “I really need a new shower curtain…and new bath towels and hand towels, too.”
You should know, this is a ridiculous thought. My shower curtain is just fine. And really, why am I suddenly concerned about the state of my bathroom towels? My parents are surely not going to care about or even notice my towels. In fact, my mom and dad line-dry their towels. Drying off with one is like rubbing a burlap bag over your skin. They are stiff and hard and can sometimes even stand independently. Mine feel like cashmere in comparison.
Also this week I suddenly feel the need to purchase a new runner for the dining room table – mine is simply a disgrace, rumpled and stained and faded. I’m too lazy to wash and iron it, and plus, I’m rather tired of looking at this one, so I tell myself that I need a new runner because I don’t want to be embarrassed in front of our guests.
I suspect that my urge to prettify for guests is really a flimsy excuse to justify buying more stuff for myself.
Truthfully, I know neither Laura nor Richard nor my parents will judge me on the basis of my table runner. In fact, I suspect no one will even notice the table runner…or the hand towels…or the shower curtain…or the fact that the fringe on my living room rug is unraveling.
No. They won’t notice.
But I do.
This is my hang-up, not theirs. I’m the one who feels the need for more, new and better. And frankly, it’s not fair for me to foist my neuroses on my guests and use their impending visit as an excuse to buy more stuff.
So this week I won’t run to Kohl’s or Target or Pier One to buy pretty new things for a three-hour Thanksgiving dinner. Instead I’ll probably give the toilets a good scrub and vacuum the (frayed) rug. And I suppose I’ll wash and iron the rumpled table runner and set the table with my grandmother’s china.
But mostly I’ll simply enjoy the company of my friends and family who come to laugh and chat and eat and drink -- who come to enjoy not my house, but me.
Do you ever have the urge to buy new stuff before you have guests to your house?









I always have that urge, but I am trying to get over it. I am trying to remember that people come to my house to visit, not to inspect my things. And if they are there to inspect my things, then they probably aren't my "friends" anyway. That said, I still fight the urge to do what you write about here!
Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.
I don't have the urge to buy from home, and because my sister's house is so much bigger than mine, she's usually in charge of the gatherings.
But I get what you mean.. when I do have house guests, I worry a little about the fact that the towels aren't "big and fluffy" but flat and used. I look at the comforter on the bed and think, "wouldn't it be nice to have more color in here?"
But, WE all know that our friends and family are not interested in our house and amenities, but it us....
I get it, though.
BTW: When you said your parents "line dry" their towels, I smiled. That generation must shake their heads at us sometimes.
OT: I've missed you. Always good to read you, my friend.
Whoops -- should be "for" instead of "from"
and I meant to wish you happy day and days with your family and friends..
it's all about the fellowship...
I was just thinking I should really get some new dishes before Thursday! I know in my head, no one else cares. If they had their way we would line up with the giant divided Tupperware trays rather than a fine piece of China. Thanks for the reminder it isn't about them and this holiday isn't about me. Happy Thanksgiving, Michelle!
Yes! I'm glad I'm not alone. Happy Thanksgiving, Michelle!
What is it about line-dried towels? I thought my mom was the only one who did that and, yes, they do feel like burlap. I used to be tempted to buy to prettify. Now that there are just the two of us, though, I'm more into getting rid of stuff. But you're right, usually when I want to buy something for guests, I really want to buy it for me. Happy Thanksgiving, Michelle! Enjoy your time with family.
I've been cursed with the opposing problem: I am way too practical and could live with truly old, ugly, stained stuff if it was not for my husband, who is the decorator of the house. We balance each other out: he would buy new stuff all the time but he has to convince this tightwad that we need it :)
Sadly yes....I used to fall into this habit of trying to buoy my own
insecurities with stuff as though making the house "prettier" for guests
would improve my standing in their eyes (aka my own)...now because I
cannot drive any longer such urges have less sway...my husband does not
have the time to take me out for these kinds of things and really that's
not what guests come for. They want to be with us just the way we are;
imperfect selves, lived in home, loving beings.
Happy Thanksgiving Michelle, may you enjoy the blessings of family gathered.
We bought a hair dryer for houseguests once. Does that count?
My husband does the cleaning here (yes, I am inordinately blessed!) and he gets busy doing more "detail" cleaning before the holiday. He painted the baseboards last week, too. I'm the one reminding him that our guests aren't bringing their inspector's gloves with them tomorrow.Happy, happy Thanksgiving, Michelle.
Well, my husband just installed a hardwood floor in our main room last weekend. He and one of the guests are working on the cut-out for the vent registers even as I type.
The carpet had to be trashed...we had an accident that rendered it irredeemable and it had to be pulled up. But the carpet might have been close to 30 years old, so it wasn't a matter of just getting a prettier carpet; it was more like deferred home maintenance. Anyway, I must admit the hardwood is gorgeous and I should brace myself for scratches and dents and other disappointments, to keep an open-handed perspective.
Table decor is the same every year at our house. I don't know if our guests are bored by that, but there you go. It's all I can do.
I love that you give it so much thought.
The fact that you even have a table runner is eons ahead of me. In my sad post-college life I don't even have a real kitchen table. One of the many benefits of being single ;)
Although I wish I had a cute little house with a cute little table to decorate at the last minute. Because I'm sure I would be just like you and get the urge to remodel my kitchen Thanksgiving morning.
Sometimes, I'm really thankful to have been created a man. Don't get me wrong, I still wrestle with my own issues and stresses. This just doesn't happen to be one of them.
Oh, and I can pretty much guarantee you that neither Ruchard nor your Dad would see anything wrong with your stuff, even if you specifically pointed out each perceived flaw to them.
Thank you for reminding me of one more thing to be thankful for! ;^)
You have a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday, with your family, Michelle!
I used to do that but I don't anymore. I have more stuff than I know what to do with after 21 years of marriage. Whenever I am tempted I think of my friends in Rwanda, puts it all in persective. I'd rather have a pretty heart than a pretty table (and don't get me wrong the table will be pretty too, I am commenting here in the middle of arranging flowers! ha!)
Good for you! You're on the right track! And have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Linda
You too, Linda -- blessings and joy!
Love that, Shelly: I'd rather have a pretty heart than a pretty table.
Thanksgiving blessings to you and yours, too, Joe. So glad to have "met" you online!
You helped put it into perspective for me, Angi. I remember being fresh out of college and in my own apartment with nothing but hand-me-downs (truth be told, I still have lots of hand-me-downs, and I'm 41!).
Your new floors sound beautiful!! And you are smart to try to keep a clear head about the inevitable scratches and dents. I just put a HUGE gouge in my living floor when I slid the couch out to vacuum behind it. I sort of wished I could blame my kids...but I could blame no one but myself. Grrrrr.
Happy Thanksgiving, Ann - thanks for stopping by.
Ha- the hairdryer! That made me laugh, Sheila.
My husband is making the pies right now...clearly we are both blessed!
That's exactly it, isn't it -- it all comes down to insecurity and pride. I know it's not easy at all for you to be so limited in mobility, but maybe occasionally that's a silver lining, in that life is a bit slower?
Love you, Laura -- Thanksgiving blessings and joy to you and yours, too.
So good to have this balance! My husband does that for me, too -- I am the spendy one...he keeps me in check.
My parents line dry theirs in the basement even in the middle of winter. Who knows what that's all about.
Happy Thanksgiving, Nancy -- love you, lady!
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Katie -- so grateful to have "met" you this year! Maybe in person some day...
That's a funny image, Alicia -- everyone lined up with their plastic, divided food trays! You make me smile...Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, too, Alica. Love you!
Always good to see you here, too, Harriett. And you are so right...Thanksgiving, and every meal really, is about fellowship, isn't it - regardless of what table runner we have or dishes we are using to serve the food. Point well taken.
Happy Thanksgiving -- will you be at your mountain retreat?!
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Mary -- so grateful we had the wonderful opportunity to meet in person! If you come visit me in NE I will definitely buy new towels! :)
Michelle: Be assured, I think we all do this. I can just see you going from room to room with a surveying eye! Your place I am sure will be homey and welcoming, that is the best thing you could give them! Have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving enjoying all that God has given us! Lori
There will be beauty all around as you share your Thanks-giving. Blessings for this special season.
Uhmm . . . yes! This is so familiar and I think universal - something to remember the next time I am a guest at someone's house that looks imposingly impeccable. Maybe she just dashed out and spruced up! Good for you for resisting the impulse this time. We've all been there :)
Thanks, Courtney - I'm glad I'm not the only one!
Yes! One morning before we were having house guests that evening, my husband and I interrupted our last-minute clean up to run to a fabric store and recover the diining room chair seats! I'm blessed that I could enlist hubby in my pre-guest prettify!
Your blog is a blessing and I am following it, and I invite you to join Saved by Grace,
Happy Thanksgiving!
Yep. I get this. But you should know you have the coolest, warmest, most beautiful home. It's not only because you have good taste - and you do. You have exquisite taste. But more than that, you have a good, kind, beautiful heart. And an amazing family. You and your home and your family are absolutely fantastic. It's true! (And...your napkin rings rock!)
Happy Thanksgiving, Michelle! I love you and your amazingly beautiful self!
Yikes! I usually need to get rid of things before guests come - more like de-clutter. But, you are so right, Michelle, we get distracted from what is truly important. You are opening your house to others. They will feel the welcome and the love - I'm sure that they will see nothing else but that! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Andie
I do have that urge, but it's usually the only time I can talk my husband into buying anything for the house...even things that really do need replacing! So I try to take advantage.
my party is friday night. and my mother-in-law will arrive december 9th to stay with us for 22 days. so, i feel you on the critical eye. i can't afford anything new, so i resist that urge, but i definitely understand the feelings! happy day, michelle.
Well I admit...I had the exterior windows cleaned for the season of hospitality that starts this weekend [it had not been done in years]. And we have decided to light the roof line of the house with Christmas lights, also a first. For us its the first holiday season at home [with quests coming] in many years. Additionally we are doing an advent study; The Journey. I'm so excited!
Ido see your point and agree with it absolutely!
But, this year I am relishing the opportunity to prepare my home and heart to celebrate my faith, and that has included expenditures.
I love your plans - they sound so festive. I absolutely believe there is a balance, and it sounds like you found it.
Funny you mentioned the windows...when our guests were here for Thanksgiving today, I happened to glance over to the living room windows with the sunlight streaming in, and was horrified by how filthy they were. Oh well, it was too late by then to do anything about it!
Deidra, you are so sweet. I hope you had a perfectly beautiful and peaceful Thanksgiving at Susan's house. I am truly thankful for you and all the ways you bless me!
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, dearest Andie.
Ha -- I love it!
Hope you experience much joy and fellowship at your party tomorrow night, Kendal. And Happy Thanksgiving to you -- love you, lady!
P.S. Can't believe your mil is coming for 22 days -- does she live in Bangladesh???!!
Well Michelle, your house is beautiful and doesn't look in need of one single thing to prettify (love that word!) it!! I have to say, I grew up with those line-dried towels and actually miss the invigorating roughness of them--towels too soft feel creepy to me. Weird, I know. Hope you had a lovely day today--I know your guests were well taken care of in your hospitality!
I don't necessarily buy new things, but I do become a crazy person in general!
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I certainly do a crazy clean up :)
I so can relate! I've been known to sneak out while guests are here at 11:30 pm to buy new sheets and pillows because I realize how bad the ones we have are~ :)
I found myself stressing about getting the house ready for Thanksgiving...and was reminded once again that all people remember is how they feel when they leave. Hopefully, they leave well loved and full of peace!
Sorry, I incorrectly entered my website url when posting a comment. It is:
http://savedbygracebiblestudy.blogspot.com/
Blessings!
Laurie
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