Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: An Imperfect-Made-Perfect Grace
>> Monday, October 31, 2011 –
God talk: talking to kids about God,
grace,
Old Testament,
Use It on Monday
{Many apologies for the late posting. Let's just say I could have flown to Bangladesh yesterday in the amount of time it took me to get back home from the Relevant conference! Also, I should mention: this post is not based on a Bible reading or sermon, as I spent 12 hours in three airports yesterday. Jeepers!}
Up until about a year ago we didn’t pray together as a family before meals. I still remember the time we invited Pastor Sara over for dinner, and I realized in a panic that I needed to institute an eleventh-hour Grace 101.
You can probably guess what happened the night of the dinner. As we all bowed our heads to pray, Noah blurted, “Oh! We’re praying! Mommy always forgets to do that!”
Commence awkward moment when the pastor realizes our grace is a farce.
For the last year or so we have prayed each night before dinner. Actually, let me rephrase that. I haven’t actually succeeded in getting the kids to pray before they put food into their mouths. They usually manage to scarf down a French fry or a slice of red pepper or yeah, let’s be honest here, sometimes half their meal, before I remind them that we haven’t yet prayed. Still working on that part.
It’s not perfect, this grace. At least once a week a child slides off his chair and lands in a pile of twisted limbs on the floor {Seriously, what is it about boys and sitting?}. And very regularly they have the giggles, or a kid snorts or knocks his silverware to the floor with a clatter.
But just when I think, “Really? Is it really doing anything, this grace? Am I really teaching my kids anything at all?", Rowan volunteers to pray. And this is what he said last week as we bowed our heads over our plates:
“Dear God, thank you for pumpkins with faces. Because I really like pumpkins with faces. And thank you for the Wii. And thank you for this food that Daddy made tonight. And please take good care of our friends in Africa and Pedro, too, in…where’s Pedro live again, oh yeah, Bolivia, Pedro in Bolivia. And….yeah, I think that’s it. Amen.”
And I say Amen, too -- to an imperfect-made-perfect grace.
"So keep my words in your hearts and minds. Write them down and tie them on your hands as a reminder. Also tie them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home. Talk about them when you walk along the road. Speak about them when you go to bed. And speak about them when you get up." (Deuteronomy 11:18-19)
Linking with Jen...
And Ann's Walk with Him Wednesday:
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love those kids. and grace is called grace for a reason?
This is beautiful, Michelle. And real. That's what grace should be.
I LOVE this Michelle!!
Just so you know, regularly, the kids dive into their food before we even sit down. Perhaps I just need to place our plates on the table before theirs? And girls, they have issues with sitting, too. But I love what pours out of their hearts when they commune with the Father. There is no acting, no pretense. Just a child talking to his Daddy.
"to an imperfect-made-perfect grace" ....and this is reality! First as mom, then grandma and Christian preschool teacher to years of wiggly-fall-on-the-floor-spill-the-milk-spew-out-the-mouth & nose kiddos!
I'll never forget the looks on my niece's and nephew's faces (ages 2 and 4) when they tried to say the table grace with teenager cousins. Teenagers tend to rush :)
When the kids were little, our best table graces were during Advent. Each child took turns choosing a Christmas hymn and we sang the first verse. Can't them to do that now, but it was great while it lasted!
Michelle, I can so relate. Often wonder if I am doing enough to train my kids up in the Lord. Feel the guilt. And then He gives me a glimpse of what has seeped into the heart and taken root, like Rowan's prayer. What a gift!
One of the most changing habits our family started doing several months ago was to begin praying after the meal. We let one child say a quick grace before meals as a way to remember to be thankful but after the meal comes the fun. When the dishes are clear we read a bit of Scripture from the Daily Bread box, then we go around the table and each person chooses a song for us to sing to praise God and finally, we go around the table and pray out loud, one after the other, for other people. It takes about 15 minutes, but it is worth it. Even my 4-year-old prays. It is a beautiful time.
I wish I could start that tradition/discipline of saying grace in my family. I feel like such a heathen because we don't. Why is such a simple and comforting thing so hard to do?
Thanks for being real about being imperfect but doing it anyway.
What a great story and glad you are home safely from Relevant. I hope you plan to post about the conference. would love to hear it.
We practice grace before meals fairly inconsistently when the kids were growing up. Yet what do they remember now? That we prayed before meals. Must have done it enough to sink it, but I do know the truth that we didn't do it enough.
Good post. and glad you really aren't in Bangladesh.
LOVE Noah's sweet prayer -- and this post! Can't wait to hear about Relevant!
I'm with Kendal--as I read this, I was thinking about the grace...of grace.
When we pray at bedtime with our youngest (who is 10), he's usually super sleepy and yawns in the middle of his requests. We're understandable, of course, as it is bedtime.
I've noticed, however, that he is almost becoming conditioned--that prayer and yawning go together. So you can imagine what happens when we pray at mealtimes:
"Thank you, Lord...{pause for a long, drawn-out yawn}...for this food, and...{mega-yawn-with-noises}...for our family...{deep breath...exhale}...amen."
I love that line: "It's not perfect - this grace"... How true.
It’s not perfect, this grace.
That is perfect as you conclude and your Rowan and his prayers...just, the best! As always, so real and humble and truly seeking to know Him in your life--it is wonderfully refreshing!
So sorry you had THE journey getting home...hopefully you got some rest somewhere since I don't think you slept too well at Relevant;} and you and Deidra were good company for each other!
So, so thankful for our time together...bound as friends doubly and forever now:}
"It’s
not perfect, this grace. At least once a week a child slides off his
chair and lands in a pile of twisted limbs on the floor {Seriously, what
is it about boys and sitting?}. And very regularly they have the
giggles, or a kid snorts or knocks his silverware to the floor with a
clatter."
I had a good giggle over this bit of realness in your home... we have had the same and so I am still giggling...
and yes, all the ....."So
keep my words in your hearts and minds. Write them down and tie them on
your hands as a reminder. Also tie them on your foreheads. Teach them
to your children. Talk about them when you are at home. Talk about them
when you walk along the road. Speak about them when you go to bed. And
speak about them when you get up." (Deuteronomy 11:18-19).....really does workkeep walking together with the One who stills the water :)
Cute story with an important message! You made me laugh, recalling similar times with my own children.
Thanks for sharing!
LOVE this, love it, love it, love it. And believe me, Pastor Sara was undoubtedly unflapped by your son's statement. Most of us pastors find ourselves wishing for more authenticity and less rote - in our own lives and the lives of our parishioners. And you couldn't ask for more authentic. :>)
We sing a song that our three-year-old learned at school. It goes like this, "We are thankful" *crunch, crunch* "We are thankful" *gulp, gulp* "For this food..."
This was a fun post, Michelle! Just plain honest :) And I had to grin big when you asked about BOYS and SITTING. Oh. My. I taught school for many years, and I can't tell you how many boys (even big ones) have trouble staying in a chair!
I loved your boy's honest prayer. It's all grace. xo
Thanks Jodi. I heard Nancy popped by! How fun to meet in person!
Oh my, I cannot imagine teaching a roomful of boys, all of them squirming and fidgeting and tumbling from their chairs! You must have the patience of Job!
Ok that totally makes me smile!
Pastor Sara is so gracious, I'm sure she didn't judge us (even though she saw right through it all!). I remember her saying something, "Oh that's okay. I forget sometimes, too."
Thanks for your kind words and perspective here, Diana. You are sweet.
And thanks for your gracious comment, Joseph. Never a dull moment with young kids, eh?!
Glad I am in good company with our restless grace around here!
Abby, What JOY to meet you and get to know you in person! Absolutely we are bound as forever friends!
I went to bed at 9 sharp last night and slept a full 9 hours, so I actually feel great today, despite the long, long travels. I take it you made it home safely -- so glad for that.
Thanks, Christina. And thanks for linking up -- looking forward to stopping by your place.
Still digesting lots of good stuff from Relevant -- I may write about it later in the week. Thanks for stopping by -- looking forward to catching up with you at your place later on this week, too.
So glad to know we aren't alone in our inconsistency. And see...you did it enough so that kids remember now - and that really does count for a lot. There's always room for improvement and sometimes we spend too much time on regret. The bottom line is that your kids remember prayer in the home, so you have done well my friend!
Thanks for being honest, Stacy. It is hard to start a new practice or routine. I admit, we started very slowly and sporadically around here. It took many months -- close to a full year really -- for it to become a daily habit. And still, we only pray together before dinner, not before breakfast or lunch. So there is always room for improvement! Give it a try. It did feel awkward and kind of dumb at first, and there was much resistance, but it finally stuck, and I am glad.
Wow, Gaby, this is awesome! You give me much to aspire to here. During Advent we read a daily devotion together, usually during the meal. I really like the practice, and last year I said I was going to start reading a short Bible passage every night with dinner. Of course that last all of about 3 days. You inspire me to try it again!
That's right, it is a gift. I love those glimpses. They seem fleeting and a little too far and few between sometimes, but when they come, it's always an "aha!" moment.
Love your Advent ritual. I never thought about singing a hymn at the table -- I really like that idea. Thanks for commenting, Karna!
Perfect description of grace and dinner with children, Connie! You've had lots of experience!
First of all, I am so relieved that I am not the only one whose kids dive in before the prayer! And secondly, I love how you put that -- because it's true, kids are so genuine and honest in their relationship with God. Love your comment -- thank you, Jen!
Mary, I will be over to see you at your place soon. But let me just say here how absolutely delightful it was to meet you and get to know you in person! You are wonderful! I love and appreciate your honesty and your tell-it-like-it-is approach. Hanging with you, Nancy and Abby was a huge highlight of Relevant for me!
Thanks, Lisa. It does get kind of real around here sometimes. I'm thankful that God gives me bigger picture glimpse every now and then to stave off the discouragement.
Oh the description of the prayer-yawn-prayer-yawn made me smile -- especially the mega-yawn with noises {we've got those around here, too!}
Yup, it's grace within grace literally, isn't it? Good point, my lovely friend!
Meeting you was a REAL treat for me!!
My son, Christian, who was at Relevant was one of those boys who always fell out of the chair into the floor. :)
What Diana said. Absolutely!
Hey Michelle, as they get older it doesn't get much better! lol... The still want to eat. Now it's let's see how quick I can say grace so I can dive in!!!
Dinner time at your place sounds an awful lot like mine...
There is nothing I love more than those prayers spoken by a child! And yes, ease up on yourself. I still remember a speaker at MOPS one year saying "Your sincere faith is not determined by remembering to read 'The Daily Bread' at mealtime! It is how you live every moment that matters and what we teach them through the day and that we pray together whenever we want, not just before we eat" That has stuck with me. Francis Chan also has a segment about that on his Crazy Love study DVD that struck a chord with me.
oops, sorry about the double link. my computer was acting up. the prayers at your home sound familiar!
I love that prayer - success! And I agree, what is it about boys and sitting? They don't go together.
I've found that prayer with my kids simply takes lots (and lots) of practice.
Love the simplicity of this and the wisdom from the mouths of babes.
I think kids say the most perfect prayers! ;)
(And my kids can't seem to stay put, either)
What a great story...and one step in the right direction right?
It's so hard to enforce new disciplines, but so worth the effort. Bravo to you!
It takes a while to see that progress is being made sometimes...but then every now and then we get a glimmer that makes it all worthwhile.
Thanks for stopping by!
It's kind of like two steps forward one step back around here {sometimes two steps back!}
Isn't that true? They speak right from the heart, don't they?
Thanks for stopping in, Jennifer!
Thanks, Debbie -- so glad you stopped by today.
I think you're right, Courtney. I've been tempted to throw in the towel and give up. But perseverance has proven to work in the end. And even then, it's still two steps forward, one step back. Tonight's grace at dinner: abysmal!
No problem with the double link -- that happens every week. I hope to stop by your place this week soon!
I really want to read that Crazy Love book. I just talked about it with my friend Deidra this weekend -- she is going to loan it to me.
And thanks for your astute observations about living faith in the everyday -- I so appreciate that!
That makes me feel better! Boys will be boys will be boys, eh?
Ha! Someone else said that about teenagers, too -- that grace gets shorter and shorter as they get older!
Christian would have fit in really well around here! [and I didn't know you had kids with you at Relevant!}
Thanks for stopping by Dawn...
sorry I put my link up twice. the first one is broken.
Yes and Amen! Loved this post.