Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: As Long as Thanks Is Possible...

This morning, as I listened to the story of Nehemiah’s return to the destroyed city of Jerusalem, I remembered how my family faced a similar situation of hopelessness at this time last year. It’s been nearly one year since my mother-in-law, Janice, passed away. Last year on this very day, the boys and I sat on the edge of her bed in the family room, clasped her thin body tight, and said goodbye to her for the last time. We left Minnesota and drove back to Nebraska on Labor Day while my husband stayed behind to help care for his mother in her final days.

"'Face it: we’re in a bad way here,'” Nehemiah said as he stood on the edge of Jerusalem and witnessed his beloved city in shambles. ‘Jerusalem is a wreck; its gates are burned up. Come – let’s build the wall of Jerusalem and not live with this disgrace any longer.’” (Nehemiah 2:17, MSG).

Come – let’s build.

I recalled the circumstances last year as my family stood on the brink of devastation and loss. We were, as Nehemiah said, “in a bad way – a wreck” as we watched Janice endure the final stages of cancer and as we grieved the loss of someone we loved so much.

Yet as I listened to Pastor Greg preach on the theme of destruction and rebuilding this morning, I was also reminded of my father-in-law, Jon, and how he is a testament to our ability to recover and rebuild in the wake of tragedy and disaster.

In a letter written just this past week, the week that he and Janice would have celebrated 50 years of marriage, Jon said this:

“For almost a year my emotional foundation has consisted of varying levels of sadness, relative happiness, disbelief, optimism and developing acceptance, while avoiding anger and despair. However, my overwhelming emotion is always that of profound gratitude and appreciation for your incredible mother and the family we’re blessed with. The gifts she gave will remain with us until we are once again reunited.”

Profound gratitude and appreciation.

Despite his enormous loss, Jon has chosen optimism and acceptance over anger and despair. The opposite choice – bitterness, denial and regret – would have been easier, because the truth is, it’s difficult to choose happiness and optimism over anger and despair. But Jon has consciously made that harder choice, and he continues to make that same choice every day.

I wonder, sometimes, exactly how Jon decided to reject anger and bitterness in favor of acceptance and joy. But when I look closely at that letter he wrote recently, I see that the answer is right there in his own words. As he says, his overwhelming feeling is that of “profound gratitude and appreciation.” In spite of everything, Jon is grateful

Loss often has a way of changing our perspective and clarifying our values. Sometimes, inexplicably, grief gives birth to gratitude. Sometimes loss opens our eyes to see and appreciate the myriad blessings bestowed on us. And giving thanks gives birth to joy, despite all odds.

As Ann Voskamp says in One Thousand Gifts:

“As long as thanks is possible, then joy is possible. Joy is always possible. Whenever, meaning – now; wherever, meaning – here. The holy grail of joy is not in some exotic location or some emotional mountain peak experience. The joy wonder could be here! Here, in the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be – unbelievably – possible! The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now.”

Despite his vacillating emotions over the last year, my father-in-law has remained deeply grateful for a multitude of blessings – chief among them, his loving wife, Janice, and the strength and love of family and dear friends. Profound gratitude and appreciation, he says, are what saved him in the end.

If you've ever been in that wreck of a place, what's helped you put one foot in front of the other and rebuild your life?

And linking with Jen at Finding Heaven for Soli Deo Gloria:

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