Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday: Thirsting, Fainting, Clinging
>> Sunday, June 5, 2011 –
Old Testament,
Prayer,
Use It on Monday
I’m an extrovert. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to chat, laugh, socialize and have a good time. That said, I don’t bare my soul to many. My husband, my sister and my best friend are privy to my deepest thoughts and worries, but that’s about it. I keep conversation on the surface with most everyone else.
That’s why when I heard today’s reading from Psalm 63, I was immediately struck by the psalmist’s vulnerability with and passion for God:
Look at the verb choices: thirsts, faints, clings. We’re not talking about moderate emotions here. This person doesn’t hold God at arm’s length but instead clings to him in everything.“My soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water…my soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me” (Psalm 63:1-8).
In his sermon Pastor Ryan outlined three distinct spots on our journey with God.
1. I know about God.
2. God’s an acquaintance.
3. My best friend is God.
When he got to point number two, Noah leaned over in the pew and whispered, “That’s where I am. “ I nodded, “Me, too, honey.”
I certainly don’t approach God like he’s my best friend. I don’t tell him what’s embedded deep in my heart. I don’t unburden myself to him in any real way. I pray, yes. I pray for my children and my husband and my family, for loved ones and friends and even acquaintances and strangers I meet online. I ask God for patience and humility and for eyes to see him in my everyday, and I thank him specifically for the gifts I receive from him. But that’s where my interaction with him ends. I don’t really sit down with God and have a heart-to-heart, like I might with my sister, Jeanine or my best friend, Andrea. I don’t talk to God conversationally throughout the day, and I don’t really express my deepest fears and insecurities to God like I might to my husband.
I have a formal relationship with God – if he weren’t God, I’d probably refer to him as a Mr.
I remember a few years ago Pastor Greg preached a sermon about “having a relationship with God.” I recall laughing to myself at little bit over that one. At that point I was so busy clapping myself on the back for getting to the point where I even believed in God, the thought of having a relationship with him seemed inconceivable.
That notion doesn’t sound nearly as crazy now, which I take to be a good sign. After all, I’ve gone from simply believing in and knowing about God to engaging in some kind of relationship with him. It’s not deep, but at least it’s friendly.
Still, if I’m really honest, I know this: I don’t let God get close to me. I keep God at arm’s length.
I think it’s time to change that, to take the next step. While I’m not exactly sure what that looks like, I do think God is asking me to take the leap from acquaintance to best friend. I think he wants me to dig deeper and get more real with him, to show him my true self, even the darker, uglier parts of myself.
Thankfully, God knows me. He knows I’m a little standoffish, hesitant to reveal my true self. He knows I have very few in my innermost circle and that I am slow to admit anyone new. Thankfully, he’s also a patient God, and as he’s demonstrated so far along this journey, he’s a God who is willing to wait.
So what about you? Where are you in your interactions with God -- knowing about him; friendly but distant; or BFF?
And Linking with Jen and the Sisters, too:
Welcome to the "Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday" community. If you are here for the first time, feel free to click here for details and instructions on how to link up.
Or you can simply copy the code for the "Hear It, Use It" button in the sidebar to the right, and paste it into your own post. Remember to including the link to your post down below...not your blog address -- that way visitors can be sure to read the right post.
Typically we write about the lesson we read or the sermon we heard in church on Sunday. That said, I am pretty loosey-goosey – you can write about a verse or even a hymn that you've been pondering anytime recently. Also, you can come by anytime during the week to link up – it stays open until Friday.
Thanks so much for participating...and don't forget to visit other participants and comment on their thoughts this week if you can. It's wonderful to have you here...
Posts
Someone who has really modelled this kind of personal and deep relationship with God for me has been Beth Moore. Whenever I hang out with her (her studies and only once her conference), I find myself longing more and more for God in this way. Have you ever gotten to hang with her?
fondly,
Glenda
Funny -- I was thinking about that song, "Friend of God." It says, "I am a friend of God, He calls me friend." That's really comforting for me to sing, and I do believe it. But there's an element to Him that requires my respect, too. I don't know that my mom will ever be my friend -- she's my mom.
He's just so many things to me; He has so many facets. I'd have to say friend is just one.
Michelle, sweetheart, you are a lot more open and vulnerable than you realize and I so admire you for even posting where you are in your "relationship with God" process. You inspire me every time you post.
I attended a ladies retreat years ago and the speaker was a, Shelley Chaffin. I will never forget her. She had cancer and had been told she only had a short time to live. Her relationship with Jesus was so intimate and when she prayed it was like we were eavesdropping. She didn't even close her eyes, as though she was looking into His eyes. That's what I want, but I hesitate to say that for fear that it's takes a terminal diagnosis to get me to that point. Maybe I should strive to get there to avoid a terminal diagnosis. Don't want to think that it would take that for God to be able to draw me that close to Himself.
Love you "cuz."
Thank you for hosting.
I'm more and more finding that God is so much a part of my life that I can't identify a non-God thing. I've learned to truly and deeply love and trust him.
I’m a follower, and this hop is found on a page on my site that lists more than 250 hops, memes, and photo challenges… some for each day of the week. Check under the header for the link to that page. I’ve also just started a BlogFrog community that focuses on hops, carnivals, memes, and photo challenges. Go to http://theblogfrog.com/1504201 to visit & participate.
I hope you’ll visit me soon. I follow back!
NCSue
Hi Michelle,
What I like best about your post is the gracious invitation I sense the Lord making through it. He longs to be the One to whom we turn--the One we share our deepest thoughts and worries with.
I truly think of Jesus as my best friend, but I can also state that like every relationship, there is room for improvement (on my part).
Michelle, I found this a fascinating post to read; indeed, I've been intrigued to follow your blog and read as you progress through your faith and your understanding of knowing God. Because we come from different religious backgrounds, it's so interesting to watch you, and good for me to remember that not everyone is like I am, or has had my experiences. I actually do some of the things you mention: converse with God throughout the day, pray often, tell him my inmost thoughts. I even cry out to him, and accuse him, and even demand things of him, because I do believe they are right and just for him to do. I know he's not at my beck and call, but I feel I can demand, if David did.
I think God is like a lover, who is infinitely patient and kind, waiting for the woman he loves to open up to him, never pushing or demanding intimacy, fully knowing her hesitations. It's an image that is appealing to me.
Michelle - Oh, it takes a while, I think. God knows us inside and out before we are even born. But for us to get to know him, it takes a while. I think the question we have to ask is do we WANT to be closer to God. I think when we say "yes" to that, then God reveals more of himself to us. Love that your son found himself on that continuum too. You are such a good example spiritually to your boys.
You know, I tell God my innermost thoughts and I'm ready for Him to respond with what I should do about them. But what I'm not ready for is for Him to shower me with love. This is a new realization that I hope to write about with SDG, but it's so hard to quite get there. I'm not quite sure I'm even making sense here -- such a personal area! Ack!
Powerful honest post. I love how you can admit your struggle and deep desire to know God better. That IS God working in you already. Having an open heart and trusting Him to draw near takes time. One thing that has help is to ask God for images of Him. On a retreat several years ago God reminded me of a time I ran to my dad when I was 6 and jump joyously into his embrace. Suddenly I knew that was how it was with God and I cling to that image many times, especially when I can't find Him. Praying for you!
I frequently forget that He knows me better than I know me and there are no surprises to Him ...
This is so where I'm at...I always though I was close to God, but marriage, then babies took me to places emotionally I could never have imagined...I realized if I could feel the love I do for my children, how much more does God love and want to be with me.
I loved this, Michelle. I'm happy to say that I consider God my very best friend. Whenever I sit on the floor in my little place where I pray, I talk to Him like He is right there beside me. One thing I love is that He isn't afraid of our emotions. He created us. We get angry. We get sad. We sometimes act ridiculous (well ... I do, for sure), but He loves us more than we can even imagine.
I particuarly liked when you said, I think he wants me to dig deeper and get more real with him, to show him my true self, even the darker, uglier parts of myself.
Thankfully, God knows me. He knows I’m a little standoffish, hesitant to reveal my true self. He knows I have very few in my innermost circle and that I am slow to admit anyone new.
That's it in a nutshell. God already knows all of our "uglier parts," which is why it's so freeing to not try and hide them from Him. He knows already. He sees everything, and nothing can ever separate us from His love. Nothing!
What a beautiful and thought-provoking post.
This post is a huge step in that direction Michelle! Do you know how many Christians are right where you are, but would NEVER say so? Your honesty and willingness to look at where your relationship is and where you sense God inviting you to join Him is powerful stuff!!
I first really learned how to have an intimate, best friend relationship with God when I was in my first year away from home at Bible college. In the afternoon I would take my Bible, go alone up to the top of a hill that overlooked the whole city. Up there, with my eyes wide open, I would talk to God. I would tell Him everything about everything, and He would listen! Very quickly I had this strong sense of Him knowing more about me than ANYone, not just because He's omniscient, but because I had told Him everything I knew about myself and even the things I wasn't so sure of about myself. I was forever changed, and now the conversation is continual!
Bless you for sharing your heart Michelle!!
I hope He's my best friend. I certainly know He's not just an acquaintance. I can't imagine Him being just your acquaintance, with how you've been writing.
I guess the more experiences you go through with God, the closer you become! So yes, you've got to let Him in, not deal with things yourself. I remember ever since i was young that I let God choose for me, and I allow Him a say in big and small things. And now, it's just a natural thing. My family talk about what God is doing in our lives all the time, because He's so much a part of everything that is happening to us!
Patsy from
HeARTworks
The ideas in this post are at the very heart of my personal struggles. Raised Catholic I have an abiding belief in God, but I struggle with faith. And that's what it is right, faith that HE is there for us no matter how we come to him? I've never turned to HIM in times of struggle, though lately I feel more and more pulled in that direction.
I really enjoyed this post!
Your post cut me, Michelle... I think I'm on number two as well... I want nothing more than for Him to be my best friend, but I think right now he's an aquaintance.
For me, I think what really struck me is that I will share deep desires or thoughts with my husband, but not with God. Part of me thinks, 'Well, really... he already knows that. He's GOD.' And I ignore/forget that He wants to hear from me.
Thank you for this.
My favorite Psalm is the one before the powerful words you shared in this post...
Psalm 62--"pour out your heart before Him".
He showed me these words at a time when I was really struggling...helped me to realize as you wrote...that He doesn't require formal...I can just share, from my heart, with Him.
I want...what you shared in this post...as well.
Thank you for reminding me of that...
Love,
K
You can keep Him at arm's length. You know what though? His arm is longer. So try as you might, He's got it in Him to pull you in tighter.
I suspect He already is. That's what I hear, I anyway.
Appreciate your always straight-shooting. Let none ever say Michelle DeRusha is a pretender. They'd have to be lying. :-)
This sounds so familiar! I am right there with you. I've definitely gotten closer to God over the last few years and am closer than ever before, as a matter of fact. But I am reserved with my emotions and find it hard to cry out to him. I'm working on it, though, and definitely have more honest dialogue than ever before. It is a good thing. Thanks for being so honest. It is refreshing.
I understand Michelle. It all changed for me one day when I was walking with my friend. She kept sprinkling her with the words "I said to the Lord..." She wasn't referring to her quiet time; she was talking about an on-going conversation with her Father.
It absolutely changed the way I look at my relationship with Him. And really, He knows my deepest thoughts and there is nothing hidden from Him. It is the knowing His tremendous heart of grace and love that make it all a bit easier.
Michelle, I think your post and honesty are simply beautiful. I would say that God is my best friend, but like any friendship, it took time to grow (the growing, of course, on my part). It's wonderful that you recognize that your relationship with God can go further, and as you grow in your faith and understanding, I bet you'll see your feelings toward God change in their level of intimacy, as well. :)
I am truly blessed to have stopped by here, today.
Hugs,
andrea
Oh Michelle, I love your honesty.
You may think you keep others at arm's length, but you opened and let us in to reveal such a personal truth...thank you for this trust.
For myself, I am the woman on her face, wiping his feet with my tears...for I've been forgiven much and I've no where else to go...
wow, reading the post and comments. LOVE Psalm 62, mentioned by Kara. Love hanging out with Beth Moore, mentioned by Glenda. Funny that I mention BOTH of these in my post, which I wrote before even reading this post or its comments. I can identify with Connie above, exactly doing what she says. But I also know I've got a long way to go in closeness to Him, from my end.
What a truth that is -- and your question is too hard to answer.
:)
You are always a blessing.
Another wonderful message. Here's the thing. I talk to my co-worker every day about meaningless stuff...the weather, shopping, etc but she doesn't know my heart. Then my best friend...I rarely see her but I tell her everything and she knows my deepest secrets. I feel like that's God for me. I need to go to him more often like my coworker but he must see my heart too like that of a best friend.
This is just such lovely, honest writing, Michelle. Thank you so much. I wonder if maybe it's the whole language of 'best friend' that may be difficult for you. It can sound folksy, kinda casual - and maybe that's a tough jump for you. You've moved from unbeliever to believer - and that's a big jump right there. But I find myself wondering if maybe you might need a different language to help you make that next jump. God is GOD, after all. And yes, God loves us. Yes, God knows us intimately. Yes, God wants to shower us with love, blessing, truth and grace. And the human face of Jesus can sometimes help us make that leap into deeper intimacy. Or the indwelling gracious wind of the Spirit, calling us by name. But sometimes the image of God our Creator seems to call up a bit of cognitive dissonance with the word 'friend.' And that's okay, Michelle. I don't understand the Trinity, but I am so, so grateful for this deep truth of our faith. Clearly, God is moving within you, calling you further up and further in - take a deep breath...and follow.
Wow. You are getting a lot of participation on this project. Congratulations!
Your honesty here in this post is remarkable. I think getting closer to God starts with that kind of honesty.
God desires truth in the innermost being. We can start with being real, and, as real human beings, interacted with the truth he has shown us. When we do that, he meets us more than halfway!
Hey friend,
I read this on Monday but am just getting caught up on comments. I've been thinking about it ever since. I remember being in Bible studies where other women talked about loving God and Jesus being their best friend. I nodded my head but didn't really have a clue what they were talking about. Although I came to faith at a young age, most of my understanding of God was rooted in fear of Him I always sort of thought He was waiting to pounce on me for my sin, and I knew I deserved it. Anyway, I'm learning God is good and patient with me and I've seen me drawing me to Himself. I've been learning more about loving God in addition to fearing His holiness. And, wouldn't you know? It all comes from spending more time together.
God is who I turn to daily to share the good and not-so-good times. He was there in the joy times: the births of my daughters, the birth of my first book and the thrill of grandchildren. He was there in times of sorrow: when our Sarah went to heaven, losing my brother-in-law. Oh, and those inbetween times, mundane days and tired nights--He was there. And guess what? My soul still longs for Him!
Loving God,
Pamela
Wow. You are getting a lot of participation on this project. Congratulations!
Your honesty here in this post is remarkable. I think getting closer to God starts with that kind of honesty.
God desires truth in the innermost being. We can start with being real, and, as real human beings, interacted with the truth he has shown us. When we do that, he meets us more than halfway!
Another wonderful message. Here's the thing. I talk to my co-worker every day about meaningless stuff...the weather, shopping, etc but she doesn't know my heart. Then my best friend...I rarely see her but I tell her everything and she knows my deepest secrets. I feel like that's God for me. I need to go to him more often like my coworker but he must see my heart too like that of a best friend.
wow, reading the post and comments. LOVE Psalm 62, mentioned by Kara. Love hanging out with Beth Moore, mentioned by Glenda. Funny that I mention BOTH of these in my post, which I wrote before even reading this post or its comments. I can identify with Connie above, exactly doing what she says. But I also know I've got a long way to go in closeness to Him, from my end.
This post is a huge step in that direction Michelle! Do you know how many Christians are right where you are, but would NEVER say so? Your honesty and willingness to look at where your relationship is and where you sense God inviting you to join Him is powerful stuff!!
I first really learned how to have an intimate, best friend relationship with God when I was in my first year away from home at Bible college. In the afternoon I would take my Bible, go alone up to the top of a hill that overlooked the whole city. Up there, with my eyes wide open, I would talk to God. I would tell Him everything about everything, and He would listen! Very quickly I had this strong sense of Him knowing more about me than ANYone, not just because He's omniscient, but because I had told Him everything I knew about myself and even the things I wasn't so sure of about myself. I was forever changed, and now the conversation is continual!
Bless you for sharing your heart Michelle!!
Hi Michelle,
What I like best about your post is the gracious invitation I sense the Lord making through it. He longs to be the One to whom we turn--the One we share our deepest thoughts and worries with.
I truly think of Jesus as my best friend, but I can also state that like every relationship, there is room for improvement (on my part).
Michelle, sweetheart, you are a lot more open and vulnerable than you realize and I so admire you for even posting where you are in your "relationship with God" process. You inspire me every time you post.
I attended a ladies retreat years ago and the speaker was a, Shelley Chaffin. I will never forget her. She had cancer and had been told she only had a short time to live. Her relationship with Jesus was so intimate and when she prayed it was like we were eavesdropping. She didn't even close her eyes, as though she was looking into His eyes. That's what I want, but I hesitate to say that for fear that it's takes a terminal diagnosis to get me to that point. Maybe I should strive to get there to avoid a terminal diagnosis. Don't want to think that it would take that for God to be able to draw me that close to Himself.
Love you "cuz."