Standing Down: My Journey to Simple — A Guest Post by Christine LaRocque

I met Christine only recently when I stumbled on her blog, Coffee & Commutes, but I knew I liked her right from the start. I love Christine's honesty, her poignant storytelling and her authentic journey toward simplicity. So on a whim I asked if she might be willing to guest post here and was delighted when she said yes!

Meet Christine LaRocque...and then pop over to Coffee & Commutes to see what else she has to say. She won't disappoint!

Here's Christine with her story.


Standing Down: My Journey to Simple

Last fall, I discovered something extraordinary.

For many months, my life had been spiraling out of control. I was tired and balancing tenuously between two worlds: that of mother and of full-time working professional. And just as a bird falls prey to a cat, the responsibilities of motherhood and career were leaving me behind, breathless and broken, without the reserves I needed to cope.

I was so intently focused on juggling competing priorities—all of them important—that I couldn’t see that I was being pulled in too many directions and simply couldn’t do it. But it was more than that; I was wasting far too much energy judging and finding myself guilty for it.

I needed change.

While the change would have to come from accepting my life and learning to work with all the parts, rather than railing against them; acceptance doesn’t help a person manage a life that has become unmanageable.

When I stopped to really reflect, I soon realized I had been measuring myself against an impossible standard. I believed I could do it all. My benchmark for success came from an absurd expectation that I should be able to blend all the things I had done before children with the countless responsibilities that came with them.

From this came a burst of understanding and with time forgiveness. I was finally able to think about balance with clarity and realize—there is no such as thing as balance, there are only varying degrees of compromise. For someone who has always been restless, ambitious and driven, stepping forward fully embracing a belief that balance is a myth and certainly not a virtue, can be a hard line to toe.

And so began my tentative steps towards embracing my life and finding acceptance, not for what was, but for what must be.

• That life should be lived as a series of choices that are sorted and arranged however you need to at that moment, free from pressure beyond what is right now. What was and what will be are less important than you think.

• That I must focus more on my family and less on my life as a professional.

• That I’m doing the best I can and can forgive myself when my best sometimes feels like it’s not enough.

• That I can capitulate to the fact that my house will be a consummate tornado. But at least it’s a tornado filled with giggles and squeals of happy boys.

• That it’s okay to say no to a chaotic life of obligations, comfortable in the knowledge that it’s impossible to do it all.

• That I should look at my life as a series of small parts. Tackling each, one at a time, rather than trying to multitask, is empowering and good enough.

• That I can respect that change is never ending and life is a constant cycle of new challenges, hurdles and winding roads.

So as the last leaves of fall gently floated and swirled to the ground, and we prepared our home and lives for the dark and cold winter months, I decided it was time to simplify my life. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t walk any line. I would stand down and accept that less is more, and would accept change.

I’ve since spent a lot of time sitting with this promise to myself, rolling it around and trying it on for size. I still have a long way to go, and know that I will likely always find this to be a work in progress. But I’ve discovered that, just like slipping on a perfectly fitting pair of shoes, it can be quite comfortable if only I remember to step forward, one foot at a time.

Christine is a communications professional and mother to two boys under 5. She blogs at Coffees & Commutes, where she writes about her journey of self-discovery and life as a full-time working mom.