Hallelujah

Sunday school starts up again in a couple of weeks, and I am giddy with anticipation. During the summer the kids have been coming to church with us, which, I have to say, is nothing short of torturous. I know, I know, Deuteronomy tells me I am responsible for teaching my children about God:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up (6:5-7).

But that is so much easier when someone else is doing the impressing.

Brad and I can always count on several things happening when we have Noah and Rowan with us in church:

Five minutes into the service, and in 10-minute intervals until the conclusion, at least one child will inquire, “Is this the last song yet?”

A beloved item – usually Lovey – will tumble under the pew ahead of us, which will require that I contort myself into the Downward Dog position and paw blindly at the carpet to retrieve it.

Beloved item will tumble to the floor a second time. Retrieval process will be repeated, but with a different end result. Beloved object will now be stuffed into bottom of Church Entertainment Bag (CEB).

Commence wailing, followed by panicked shushing.

CEB will crash to the floor, contents will spew out and both Brad and I will assume Downward Dog to retrieve items.

I will glance around and notice that the other 62 children in worship are all sitting quietly and attentively, while mine are beginning to show a remarkable resemblance to gibbons.

Commence multiple requests for snacks and beverages. Brad and I assume Downward Dog yet again to sweep up crushed fishies.

Rowan will make potty request, timed perfectly to the start of the sermon.

I will absorb approximately 14.5% of the day’s message.

You get the picture. Suffice to say, Sunday school has got to be one of the best inventions ever. What could be better than this realization, as you settle into the pew: someone else is watching my kids and teaching them about God!

Still, I did discover one bonus of bringing Noah and Rowan with us to church. This summer as we made the seven-hour road trip up to Minnesota for our summer vacation, we all sang a few songs together in the car…church hymns, believe it or not. As the kids’ voices rang out “Halle, halle, halle, lu u jah! Halle, hall, halle, lu u jah!” over and over again, I had a revelation: so this is why it’s good that they occasionally come to church with us -- so we can sing church songs together! We were like the Brady Bunch meets the Billy Graham family!

Of course the hymn-belting lasted only a few minutes. And then the kids begged to watch Kung Fu Panda, and I turned back to Oprah magazine and Brad inserted one iPod earbud to resume Green Day. But for a few moments we had hallelujahed along the highway.